147
Two weeks without word from Andy. Mitchell listened to Maggie come into his apartment on an unexpected afternoon visit. Her hands were in her back pockets as she walked into the bedroom. "Hi," she said and climbed onto his bed, anticipation caught in her eyes. "I brought one of Beth’s new recipes. She wants your opinion."
This was more than a casual stop. "What brings you, Mag?"
"Have you heard from your cousin?"
"Not yet. Have you?"
Surprise lit her face. "No. Why would he call me?"
That’s reassuring Mitchell thought. Not much, but some. "It’s just my mind, Maggie. Too much thought." He turned onto his side to face her. "Andy can’t make up his mind. He’s up there and it’s eating him. I can feel it. Hell of a way to live, someone else deciding what I can do."
"He feels the same."
"How’s that?"
She pulled herself closer, the way she did when they talked. "He’s caught between his concern for your health and what you want. I’m caught there, too."
"For Christ sake Maggie. Do I look like I can’t make an intelligent decision?"
"Your cousin and I have never seen anyone sacrifice himself like you. Your body needs medical attention but you keep pushing it for something we don’t understand."
"That’s not my problem, Maggie."
"Yes it is. It is your problem. You’ve asked us to become part of you. And we have, but we have thoughts and feelings, too. We can’t shut them off for your sake."
"There are boundaries, Maggie."
Her green gaze hardened. "Are you telling me I should love you by degrees? That it shouldn’t tear at me to see you lying here day after day with your heart set on something that will harm you? I’m so worried about you that it distracts me from my lover. And she comforts me. Are you telling me I’ve been foolish?" She put her palm on his chest, her eyes unwavering, wanting the truth.
He could lose her now. "No," he said. "I’m not telling you that. I’m going to Portland because I have to." He looked deeper into her eyes. "Something has been waiting there all my life. You have to trust me, Maggie. You have to believe like I believe. Without knowing." His mind was looking beyond Julia at the seascape from Cape Ann. "Or you’ll have to let me go."
She reached for his neck. "I came to ask if you want me to take you to your boat."
Tears spilled from his eyes. "This is an amazing goddamn life, isn’t it Maggie? Hell, I’d like to leave right now but it wouldn’t give Andy what he needs. He isn’t having an easy time of it."
"You’re not an easy man to care about."
"So I’ve heard."